“Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it’s a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope.”Theodore Geisel
Uh oh… It seems I am a few days behind.
I went out on Friday night. I had told myself that it was something I NEEDED to do (and truly it was). And I was rather excited for it all day until the time came closer to leave and then I started trying to make excuses left and right. “Oh I’m getting tired.” “It would be more fun to just go out tomorrow.” “You could go out earlier and stay out later tomorrow.” “It really won’t be that fun anyway.” I’m full of such crap excuses. They almost won out too. But I really didn’t want to sit at home and wallow and regret that I should’ve just gone out. I told myself 2 drinks. That’s all you have to do, stay for 2 drinks, but it MUST be 2. I headed out to a small local bar, settled in for my 2 drinks (which turned into 4) and sat back to people watch. I saw several people I knew, which was nice. I then headed over to another bar to watch a friend have a little music jam and then the night spitballed from there. It was AWESOME! Golly gee, guys, I needed that social stimulation something fierce and to get it was simply perfect. It really helped my soul. However, by the time I made it home the next day, I was rather hungover and quite tired. Instead of doing yoga or chakra work, I opted for a nap. A 3 hour nap. And when I woke up, I did a little housework and then I headed out to hang with a friend, which rolled over into Sunday, and nothing got done that day in regard to chakra work or yoga either. Monday, I had many errands to run and a staff meeting to attend and did not get around to anything chakra or yoga.
I hit a little bump in the road is all. Now, normally this would set me back big time. I didn’t finish the whole week of chakra work/yoga, I only made it to day 10 of the Dedicate series, but should be on day 13 by now; these are normally massive reasons to stop and start over. They’re good reasons to berate and beat myself up, a platform to let that mean mean voice bring me down. I almost, ALMOST!, gave in to it. Instead I thought, “No. It’s ok that you’re a little behind. There’s no reason you can’t just keep going.” It didn’t seem fair to punish myself for having a social weekend, something that I both desperately wanted and needed. So I’m breaking that cycle, I’m not letting that voice bring me down! I’m just picking it back up a few days later. Ajna Saturday is now Ajna Tuesday!
I was sad this morning. I gotta tell you, I’m god damn fucking sick of being sad. I’m sick of fucking crying. This is getting stupid and out of hand. So dressing in indigo, the lovely color of this particular chakra, did not even cross my mind as I was getting dressed. I opted for a pair of orangey/pink leggings, and a gray shirt with a forest and fox and sun on it. It wasn’t until I was sitting and writing this out that I really noticed that the forest on my shirt is a deep blue, indigo-esque color. Fucking score!!! Go accidental coincidences like that!
When I hopped onto my mat to do my Dedicate practice first, followed immediately by the chakra yoga, I was still sad and upset. Yoga helped but also made some feelings…. not worse, but more amplified, I guess you could say. I can’t say that I felt much better after either of them. I felt that I needed to do more than the two I just did. I almost went ahead and did the practices for tomorrow but then thought better of it. Instead I did a yoga for loneliness practice. It helped but still, still guys. I am sad. I don’t know what to do at this point. But enough of that, what else have I done today?
Basically, I’ve done yoga and worked on this. I haven’t eaten anything that would really stimulate this chakra, so there’s nothing to report there really. I see that chia seeds (all nuts and seeds with Omega-3) are great, so I may make some overnight chia pudding for breakfast in the morning. Dark chocolate is also tops here, and I can’t resist dark chocolate. Maybe I’ll have a sweet stimulating treat later…
Check back in tomorrow to see how I (finally) finish up all this chakra work and what I have planned next.