When Things Aren’t Working, Change. The Time Has Come….

Angela Ruminations 0 Comments

…To get down to business. If you take a quick peek at my posting history you might notice a few things, the main being I don’t post often. Oh I tried… I had a little plan laid out; a what’s happening post every Monday, a post a day on how I was working through each chakra and all the bits that went along with it, posts every few days on the other goodies I had up my sleeves. I knew it was a tall order but I thought, “No. I got this. I can do it. I have… the POWER!!!” I did alright, but very soon I was a post behind, then several posts, and then it just got out of hand and I really couldn’t catch up. Turns out, I don’t have the power and I think I know who may be tugging at my ankles.

Let’s get real for a second. I am a lazy person, through and through. It is just part and parcel of who I am. Work? Nah, I’d prefer to play. I also may have just a wee bit of an addictive personality (haha jk it’s a pretty big one). And I also live in lovely Colorado where good ol’ Mary Jane is legal and plentiful. Now when I first started smoking (at 24 btw, not like I was a super young’un), I started off slow and smoked rarely, but as soon as I bought my own pipe that shit spit-balled out of control fast. Morning, noon, and night, I smoked constantly. And then I went back to college to finish my Associate’s Degree. I tried to keep up with my work (I had online classes) but I realized very quickly that I wasn’t. See, this is the problem with my lazy, procrastinating ass. Instead of taking a hit and getting down to work and busting out those papers and homework and shit, I’d take a hit, fuck around, take another hit, get distracted, tell myself I’d just do it later and then stress myself the fuck out trying to finish things right before they’d be due. Really was not working for me. So I did the most logical thing, I quit cold turkey to focus on school. Let me tell you, that crap was HARD! I most certainly had withdrawal symptoms; couldn’t sleep and when I did.. oh the nightmares! Didn’t know what to do with myself, anxiety, and boy oh boy was I full of rage. Not good things. It passed, I forget how long exactly it lasted. A week? A week and a half maybe? But I got my degree and that clear head and energy was wonderful! And then I thought to myself “Gee, I finished up what I set out to. I can celebrate and smoke a little pot. Certainly won’t hurt anything now.” And so I did. And that was what? Coming up on 5 years? So I’ve been going strong for a good while. That’s not to say I’ve just been lounging on a couch for 5 years smoking pot, but it is still basically morning, noon, and night and every chance I get.

And that brings us to now. “What the crap does your pot smoking have to do with your blog?!” you may be asking. Well it’s gotten to the same point as when I was in school. I keep saying I’m going to do these things, I have all these grand plans, and I may get around to a few or a bit here and there but I’m not doing enough. And I’ll keep making excuses and procrastinating forever, I know it. I know me. What’s a lazy addicted lady to do? The only logical thing again: quit cold turkey. I came to this definite conclusion a week or so ago, although I know it’s been coming for a while (and I do mean a WHILE) for many reasons. I’ve decided to not buy anymore and, like the first time, I’m pitching all of my pipes. It’s the only way. If I have it in the house, I’ll make an excuse to get some. So they’s gots to go. I’ve been using up what I have and I’m down to a joint, part of a candy bar, and a drink and then that’s that, as they say.

To say I have mixed feeling would be fair. I am nervous and dreading it really, because I know how hard it was the last time. I’m freaking addicted you guys! I know I’m gonna have a hard time sleeping, and I’m sure I’ll get the nightmares again. And no doubt I’ll be full of piss and vinegar. But here, let’s not dwell on the negative. Let’s focus on the awesome. Because I’m also beyond excited about all the little crafts and projects I have on the back burner. Aromatherapy, painting, crocheting, and sewing! Yoga, meditation, saving money (saving money!!!), clearer head space, more drive, self-confidence!

What’s that mean in regards to the blog? Someone I admire gave the advice to put out meaningful content once a week. 1 thing, once a week. That’s what I’m shooting for at this point as I give my life a little revamp. I’m aiming for more, but not gonna sweat it if it doesn’t happen. Look for things to pick up as I get a good groove going. As far as social media goes (iffen you’re following that as well. If not, check it out now, in the near future, in the far future, or whenever you feel like!), I expect to be much more active on there as well. Keep your eyes peeled for some fun pictures!

When I was writing the title, I came up with “The time has come.” Which also happens to be a line in Lewis Carroll’s Walrus and the Carpenter poem. “The time has come, the walrus said, to talk of many things; of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings! And why the sea is boiling hot and whether pigs have wings.” In my middle school English class, we had to memorize a poem and recite it in front of the class. I chose this one and while I don’t remember it all, I remember most of it. So that’s a fun useless knowledge nugget for you.
*Next nugget*: The first line of this post is “To get down to business,” which reminds me of “I’ll make a man out of you,” from Mulan. A quite catchy tune. This is an accidental musical post…

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